Ozzy Osbourne Caused the Arizona Shooting


We here at Pithy Pontifications are fairly certain that World of Warcraft AND Ozzy are to blame for pretty much everything

Blaming anything for the Arizona shooting is insane, because the shooter, Jared Loughner, is insane.

What the control-freak prudes of each generation forget is that when someone’s that kind of crazy, it’s not that some specific thing sets them off, it’s that they’ll find something to set them off, no matter what.

I remember when Dungeons and Dragons was causing an outbreak of mayhem and badness around the country. And when it was heavy metal. And then it was video games. At one point it was the Ouija board. Oh, and television. And comic books. Movies. At one point, of course the madness was caused by reefer, and teen sex by Rock & Roll. Oh, let’s not forget science fiction…pure evil.

And kids did play with all of those things, then hurt themselves or others…because if they hadn’t fixated on one thing, it would have been another. The problem is in those specific, screwed-up kids, not the object of their fixation. Should we blame John Lennon for the lunacy of Mark David Chapman? Jodie Foster for John Hinkley Junior?

Now, Dungeons and Dragons is considered something that encourages learning and creativity in kids. Heavy metal music is used in educational cartoon themes. Comic books are considered the gateway to literacy. The objections were all nonsense, people being alarmed by “different”, more than any actual threat. Some of the “outbreaks of violence”, examined later, were actually all-time lows in violence, but specifically covered by a sensationalist, politically motivated media.

Let’s not forget the most laughable example:

When Ozzy Osbourne caused an outbreak in teen suicide.

Some crackpot group of ninnies actually took him to court, claiming his songs, like Suicide Solution and Paranoid caused kids to kill themselves.

“I tell you to end your life, I wish I could but it’s too late” from Paranoid was specifically mentioned. And a song called “Suicide Solution”, well…case closed!

Apparently, the incompetent lawyers and guilty parents involved didn’t even bother to actually check out the details of their accusation: In court, while suing Ozzy for the suicide of especially dimwitted teen John McCollum, it came out that the lyric in Paranoid was actually “I tell you to enjoy life, I wish I could but it’s too late”. And that Suicide Solution was a song warning against the dangers of alcohol abuse. That pretty much ended their case.

What we have, right now, are corrupt political thugs on both sides trying to doubly victimize Gabrielle Giffords and 9-year-old Christina Taylor Green by exploiting Arizona massacre, claiming it’s caused by freedom of speech (and we need to censor that with the Fairness Doctrine), or legal guns (and we need to reinstate the Brady prohibition, itself an exploitation of another shooting it never would have prevented anyway), or too much freedom for the dangerously common folk (whom we should ban from carrying guns within 1000 feet of any public official), et cetera.

Like Rahm Emanuel said:

You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that it’s an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before.

But, really, you might as well blame Ozzy Osborne.

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About kazvorpal
Polyamorous, libertarian heinleiner. ENTP, student of traditional Shaolin kung fu, writer, cunning linguist.

2 Responses to Ozzy Osbourne Caused the Arizona Shooting

  1. Pingback: Moment of Observation: Katy Perry’s “Firework” « beyondpaisley

  2. That is the best blog for anybody who desires to seek out out about this topic. You realize a lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually would want…HaHa). You positively put a new spin on a subject thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just nice

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